Golf: An Emotional Roller Coaster
Golf is a game of etiquette, subtle skill, pent up frustration, and anti-climatic sighs of "finally, the ball went where I wanted it to go." To some, it represents a resigned understanding that our bodies cannot run and jump like they used to. To others, it represents just another time committment or skill-set only attainable by those who have spent their lives practicing. Perhaps the best normative description of golf is that it is an emotional roller-coaster.
The first trial presented by this peaceful game is that of etiquette: what to wear, which hole to putt for on the practice green, where to stand, whether swearing is okay, or whether it's normal to stock your golf cart with a cooler full of Coors Light. If you are a former athlete or sports fan, you may be worried about being terrible at something, and watching 50 year old women hit a golf ball farther and straighter then you feel like you ever will. The first time you step onto the course, you may just be thinking, "I don't want to do anything wrong, or break anything." A golf course is not porcelain or a library, but to the beginner, that is how it feels. Sometimes emotional suffering is not the only pain you will feel. If you hit it into the woods, strongly consider tossing the ball out of the woods before you hack at it without any clue what you are doing. It is common golf knowledge that if a beginner decides to play the ball from the woods, the ensuing shot will be the hardest, straightest shot you will hit all year, will careen off a tree, and likely hit your partner in the forehead. If you want to play golf, remember that you will not be very good at first. Just take your lumps. It's guaranteed that every golfer you see (yes, even the ones with the pristine pink polo and brown plaid shorts) has a few painful stories of their own.
Another emotional struggle presented by golf may surprise you. It's called "getting better." The first time you hear the swipe of the club as you drive the ball squarely onto the green may just be the most dangerous and enticing stimulant known to man. You will want more, and you will want it fast. You will expect congratulations from your playing partners, and you will expect to finally reach that sub-100 mark. You will make plans for getting a sports management degree so you can coach and represent 5 year old golfers. Seasoned golfers will tell you that hitting a golf ball squarely every 1 in 4 tries is all that is needed for the game of golf to sink its unassuming, tack-sized hooks into you. But alas, such bliss is surely short-lived. As you are wondering if you are getting too good too quickly, you will undoubtedly hit the point of rock-bottom frustration again after a hooking your next ball into a watery grave. If only you could hear that cool swipe noise again and see your ball fly straight and true once more: "gotta try again!" You are now officially hooked.
The last portion of the golf roller coaster comes in the form of a slow climb towards an ominous pinnacle. You are starting to get it. You are fitting in a round before work on a Wednesday, before breakfast on a Sunday, and you are making pars as many times as not. You think to yourself (as the roller-coaster car slowly clacks up the incline) that you are an above average player. You like being seen at the golf course, and you even smile to yourself as a novice player's drive slices at an improbable 25 degree angle and nearly takes your head off: "that used to be me," you chuckle to yourself. That day, you start to overthink your swing and play pretty terribly by your standards.
But then you chip out of the bunker and watch as the ball's backspin upon hitting the green turns into topspin. You watch, knowing well before it happens, that the path the ball is taking is wonderful. There is nothing quite like the satisfying rattle of an unlikely birdie. You have about a one second view at the top of the roller-coaster's peak before you plunge straight down. Slightly nauseous, but completely elated, you needlessly adjust the bill of your cap as your bend, back leg extending behind you, to pick the ball out of the hole. An emotional roller coaster to be sure, but one you will never get off of.
